It is time to face the music, a tune that says that I have been remiss in my writing here, and I have brought shame upon myself and my ancestors. And I am shamed, although I have some excuses, which are that I have been overburdened, lazy, focusing on minutia and not the big picture, and on an emotional roller-coaster. I have also been to Disneyland. I mean, Undisclosed Locationland, a term I prefer because I do not like to rub it in that I was whooping it up with robot ghosts and pirates while you were slaving away on a shrimp boat, or whatever it is you do, which I cannot be bothered to keep track of. (See above excuses.) Anyway, hello. Like Frankenstein, I am alive. Like the Terminator, I am back. Like Mickey Mouse—I mean, Undisclosed Secret Mouse—I am seeing you again because I like you.

I would say more now, but the Republicans have cut my funding.