Four Eyes

I was chatting with a friend of mine online the other night, comparing the size of our . . . geekiness. He said that when he was in junior high school, he still wore glasses and was of the opinion that the kind with the photosensitive tinting lenses were really cool. I told him that I didn’t wear glasses when I was in junior high school but wanted to so badly that I intentionally failed an eye exam. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember from moment to moment whether I was pretending to be nearsighted or farsighted, and my results were so sporadic that I got sent home with a pat on the head and no prescription. Why I wanted to wear glasses at all is a mystery for the ages, especially at a time when I was already persecuted daily for my existing nerdiness. Now that I actually need glasses, they’re actually pretty annoying, but at least I got some tiny, titanium-rimmed Japanese numbers.┬áKarmic retribution was never so fashionable.

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