The Return

A Chinese healer who lectured at my acupuncture school taught that the secret of remaining healthy was never to blame anyone for anything, so it is in my best interests not to blame the illegal Xanax and Lexapro pushers who deluged this blog with two hundred thousand spam comments for knocking it off the Internet in late 2009, and in any case it is just as well because I have been occupied with poking surgical steel into people’s flesh, and it would not do for me to be distracted with pointy objects in my hand.


Since we last left our intrepid hero (moi), he has not really done much of anything except complete eight ninths of a graduate program at Ye Olde Acupuncture School, sign up for (and drop out of after the first week) a second, concurrent program at Y.O.A.S., and monitor with increasing alarm the deterioration of his house around his ears. He also acquired a roommate, a roommate’s cat, and approximately eighty thousand dollars in student loans; his dog acquired and divested herself of cancer, twice; and his husband has still not divested himself of the stubborn notion that some sort of leprechaun moves the dirty dishes and recyclables he leaves in the sink to their prescribed destinations. That leprechaun (moi) has the patience of Job, but, no, he does not blame.

What’s new with you?

8 Responses to “The Return”

  1. Pua says:

    SO happy you’ve returned to the Blogosphere! I’ve missed you. You know. As much as anyone can be missed in the “I love reading paragraphs of life instead of just single sentences.” kind of way. Welcome back.

    • David says:

      I know what you mean. Sometimes I’m happy when I come back, too, but sometimes, I’m like, “What? You again?”

  2. Vomitola says:

    I work at a chupacabra farm now!

    • David says:

      Do you get to milk them? I’ve always wanted to know how many nipples they have. Also, do they crow when the sun comes up?

      • Vomitola says:

        The worst part about these chupacabras is that they need constant reassurance. “Oh, that’s a great concept, I bet you’ll win a Cyber Lion for the way you ripped apart that hapless steer.” They don’t get up when the sun comes up either. They stumble in around mid-day and ask to expense lunch. What, you’re a chupacabra! Kill it yourself.

  3. Mush says:

    Husbands, not to put too fine a point on it, often think such stupid things about dishes and recycleables.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *