My Encounters with the Healing Professions

All of these visits to the skeleton doctor remind me of when I was caught in a feedback loop between the frankenstein and the mad scientist, the former wanting me to talk through my problems and the latter wanting to medicate me into forgetting I had any. No pharmaceutical on earth was up to that heroic task, and I was tied in knots by the frankenstein’s grab bag of uplifting metaphors: I think I was supposed to be swimming over waves while pedaling a bicycle at one point, and I donโ€™t even know how to swim. Luckily, acupuncture saved the day back then, but itโ€™s taking its sweet time with this back pain situation, which is ironic since half of my patients are now former back pain sufferers thanks to me and my needles of stinging love. I think I have started psychically absorbing their symptoms, sort of like Jesus, except, I hope, with a better outcome.

9 Responses to “My Encounters with the Healing Professions”

  1. Betty Dabney says:

    I’ve had back pain this week too. Must be going around. Oh well, maybe it will come around.

    • David says:

      I have a couple of other friends who are suffering from back pain, as well. I think this calls for a spine harvesting campaign.

  2. Pua says:

    Wait…you can’t swim?

    Just kidding. I only got stuck on that statement for a minute. Or two.

    I do have a professional question ask you. Charlie is a longtime scoliosis sufferer from childhood. Have you had experience with this kind of affliction? Have you seen relief for this with acupuncture treatments? Just wondering as it makes me so sad to see him in such pain all the time. Chiropractic visits don’t seem to make much difference anymore.

    • David says:

      I have scoliosis, too. There actually is a kind of acupuncture that will help correct scoliosis. It is not that common, I don’t think. I’ve been thinking about looking for someone to do it on me when I can afford it. I think it’s probably something that is an extended process, convincing a spine to straighten out. A woman who once did some landscape planning for me told me that one of her kids was treated successfully that way.

  3. Jeffrey C says:

    I have a friend who is a hardcore Republican. Can acupuncture help with that?

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