Undisclosed

It is time to face the music, a tune that says that I have been remiss in my writing here, and I have brought shame upon myself and my ancestors. And I am shamed, although I have some excuses, which are that I have been overburdened, lazy, focusing on minutia and not the big picture, and on an emotional roller-coaster. I have also been to Disneyland. I mean, Undisclosed Locationland, a term I prefer because I do not like to rub it in that I was whooping it up with robot ghosts and pirates while you were slaving away on a shrimp boat, or whatever it is you do, which I cannot be bothered to keep track of. (See above excuses.) Anyway, hello. Like Frankenstein, I am alive. Like the Terminator, I am back. Like Mickey Mouse—I mean, Undisclosed Secret Mouse—I am seeing you again because I like you.

I would say more now, but the Republicans have cut my funding.

11 Responses to “Undisclosed”

  1. Jill says:

    Most excellent!

  2. Lisa Stadtmueller says:

    Hello David.

    I found your blog by doing a search for the ever elusive and wildly popular Chupacabra.

    Has anyone ever told you that you sound …. how I shall I say this …. delicately now …. hmm m …..

    That you sound —

    a bit nuts? A little unhinged? Wildly insane?

    If not consider yourself now called so such…such so…you sob. FAT! FAT! FATTY FAT FATSO F#$%CKER FATTY FAT!**

    I meant to say consider yourself now called such things. (See all of the above). Also you seem quite unbalanced…and I mean that in the best possible way.

    Respectfully,
    Lisa

    *FAT (Fully active Tourette’s)

    • David says:

      Lisa, I actually meet all of my friends this way, so yes, people have told me that. People do not usually call me fat, however, so our new friendship is already on the line.

  3. Lisa Stadtmueller says:

    You are correct sir. I will have to dial myself back. If the chupacabras don’t get me first.

    Fondly yours

    • David says:

      I think I probably wouldn’t mind being fat, or at least a bit stocky. It’s just that I am 140 pounds soaking wet. As the chupacabras know, I am a stickler for absolute accuracy.

  4. Jeffrey C says:

    So you think you can just drop in and we’ll all be here waiting in the comments section for you?

    Think again Mister Soaking Wet 140.

    Or since your weight echoes the limitations of Twitter, think again Mr. Soaking Wet Tweet.

    • David says:

      What was I thinking?

      And jeez, I forgot I made a Twitter account for this thing. I hate to think of what my zero followers are feeling about my week off.

  5. Jeffrey C says:

    Don’t mind me. I just stopped by to do a little dusting so people think this place is still occupied.

  6. Jeffrey C says:

    Just here to take out the trash and water the plants.

  7. Jeffrey C says:

    Hope you don’t mind. I’m posting a sign to sublet your blog rather than let it go unoccupied 🙂

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