06.07.2005
Let's Hope Fire and Famine Don't Get Any Clever Ideas
It’s like the end of the world here in Hippoland. I blame the Republicans. First, Apple announces it’s switching its Macintosh platform to Intel processors and then, during an apocalyptic deluge that sent Goblin and I scurrying for cover under the dining room table, my roof leaked gallons of water all over the carpets and other specially selected items. My favorite shirt may be ruined, which is all right because it has since been spotted on the clearance rack at Banana Republic. My favorite throw rug, which was dyed with ground-up insects in a secret native ritual, has come through worse, so I have a sprig of hope. The last time this happened, I had to miss my own birthday dinner so Rob and I could clean it up; this time, I’m alone and hideous and surrounded by half-full buckets and pots, and sodden towels.
I remember the first day I learned what the word “drenched” meant. I was maybe four or five, and my grandparents lived in an apartment in Aspen Hill. I think it was Aspen Hill. And it was raining so hard, and we were sitting in a car in the parking lot, waiting for it to let up so we could go in or they could come out. And my father said something like, “We’ll get drenched!” I had never heard that word before, but I was proud of myself for instantly understanding what it meant, and I remember saying it a lot.
My house is drenched. Some part of me, I think, may be drowned.
posted by
David at 12:30 AM
I can give you one of the referral cards for the guys that did my roof... they were very good, relatively inexpensive, are HQed on 25th street, and I spent most of last night being exceptionally happy that I got them out when I did.
posted by:
jwer on 06.07.2005 at 9:31 AM
While I do feel that I should comfort you in your hour of need, I will instead point out that it should be "Goblin and me," not "Goblin and I."
You know what would make you forget all about the leaky roof? Coming to New York and helping me pack!
posted by:
Crash on 06.07.2005 at 11:16 AM
I blame it all on your errant husband. (Don't know why, it just seemed like a good thing to do!)
I'm sure you're not actually hideous. Perhaps just a bit behind on beauty rest. And I blame the internet!
Ugh! I hope Goblin's irreplacable hippo and squirrel were spared. We had a leaky basement for years that we finally packed up with varying amounts of waterproof patching and caulk. (I think we should have just went with it and had the indoor pool we always wanted, but at least now the spiders have a nice home.) It does suck to live as though a moonsoon will sweep through the house any minute.
posted by:
Jen on 06.08.2005 at 10:58 AM
Jwer: Nobody likes smugness.
Crash: Nobody likes smugness. (And nobody likes Queens, either.)
Scheherazade: Nobody likes sm-- Uh, I mean, you are very wise.
Jen: Goblin's toys were miraculously spared. I think my bug-stained rug came through, too, thank you for asking. Too bad nobody sells "Monsoon-B-Gon."
posted by:
David on 06.08.2005 at 4:21 PM
Licketysplit: How could I have left you out of my mass reponse above? I blame the internet.
posted by:
David on 06.08.2005 at 4:22 PM
I hate it when nature comes indoors like that. Nature should stay the fuck outside, where she belongs.
;-)
posted by:
Mushlette on 06.09.2005 at 3:38 PM
Ooops. I cursed. *blush*
posted by:
Mushlette on 06.09.2005 at 3:45 PM
David - Did you just call me a queen?
posted by:
Crash on 06.10.2005 at 1:54 PM
Mushiette: You bitch. *blush* Just kidding.
Crash: If the tiara fits, zombie boy.
posted by:
David on 06.10.2005 at 6:32 PM
Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger...
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