The carpet cleaner is on the way over to eradicate all of Goblin’s precious smells, and she is in a tizzy. If the vacuum is her archenemy, the carpet shampooer is the Beast. She was warned of its imminent arrival this morning by a portentous squirrel that danced in a circle and jumped over her head, and has been sulking ever since. I mean Goblin has been sulking ever since; I have no idea what the squirrel has been doing.

UPDATE: The carpet cleaner is here. Goblin has donned a black veil.

UPDATE: The carpet cleaner is gone. Everything is wet and squeaky clean. And slippery. I almost broke my neck walking down the stairs.

UPDATE: A squirrel’s head has been embedded on a pike in the corner. A black-robed choir of Boston terriers just went past singing “Kyrie Eleison.” Something is up...