07.23.2007
ADDscrape
You will be happy to know (won’t you?) that I don’t have limes’ disease or a secret form of mononuclewhosis. These are two of the solutions to my medical-mysterious palette of symptoms we can rule out from my recent trip to the dracula. Two down, how many to go? I only go to the dracula every year or three, so the screening process may take a while. Another theory: ADD. Yes, ADD could be making my feet hurt, according to this particular dracula. Diagnoses like this is why I prefer the witch doctor.
So I was reading my blog over the weekend, catching up on what I was doing two years ago, and I realized that history is repeating itself, as usual. Can you say that again, history? I wasn’t paying attention. Two years ago, I had just sped through the latest Harry Potter and was waiting for the arts festival they throw outside my front door to be over. Ditto! Two years ago, I was reveling in my new iPhone and confronting rogue City Council Presidents.
No, wait, that was two days ago. Two days ago, I was walking Goblin Foo Uvula down the street, and we encountered Stephanie Rawlings-Blake. “I’d like your support in the September 11 primary,” she said. “I’m still thinking about it,” I said, which is true because, while some people I’m associated with said I should vote for the other guy, I have yet to do my research because I have been too busy researching limes’ disease.
Instead of persuading me on the issues, she touched my Boston terrier on the head with two fingernails and said, “What a cute, uh, pug. What’s his name?”
“Um, Goblin,” I said.
“I have a _______ [I forget which relative she mentioned… cousin, sister-in-law, etc.] who has a pug named Ash. She treats that dog just like a member of the family! Drives me crazy.”
“Hmmm,” I said. My “pug,” who has had birthday parties and an entire wardrobe of capes and fashion wings, rolled her eyes, and we beat a hasty retreat.
When we got home, I sent an email to the campaign of Michael Sarbanes, the chief opposition for the office of City Council President:
I just ran into Stephanie Rawlings-Blake while walking my dog in the vicinity of Artscape. She seemed like a rather no-nonsense person, which I appreciated, but then went on to call my Boston terrier a pug and relate the story of one of her relatives who had a pug that she treated like a member of the family. She did not seem to think this was a good idea. Given that my beloved Boston terrier was standing on her foot, this didn't strike me as very diplomatic. My question is, how does Mr. Sarbanes feel about Boston terriers, pugs, and other canines as family members and citizens of Baltimore City?
This is obviously the major issue of the day.
posted by
David at 11:10 AM
Actually, I heard that Michael Sarbanes was campaigning with his dog at the Canton Dog Park.
posted by:
danielle on 07.23.2007 at 2:01 PM
Hey, at least you didn't have a heart attack.
posted by:
The FAF on 07.23.2007 at 4:05 PM
Life is wicked...the body pefection? We wish. Everytime I hear a TV preacher mention the human body as the Temple of God, I shudder. God needs a new architect. Glad u don't have lime disease. Did they test for Lemon Disease? I think it's new. You feel like %$#@, but you exude a fresh zesty odor. Please let me know when they finally decide on what plagues you. I have everything going around. I'll add your ailment to my list as soon as I know what it is.
posted by: Jeffrey on 07.23.2007 at 6:08 PM
It's important issues like that that must be known in order to cast a well informed vote. I am SO with you on this!
posted by:
Curtis on 07.25.2007 at 1:00 PM
Danielle: But what kind of dog IS it? This is important.
Faustus: He did not answer.
FAF: I almost did yesterday.
Jeffrey: I think I am going to remain one of god's mysteries of engineering. Thank you for your recent email, incidentally.
Curtis: I will vote for YOU if you tell me how you feel about the citizenship of Boston Terriers.
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