10.27.2008
Show Me Your Poultry
The other day as I was leaving my house, a young man approached and asked if I would like to purchase his meat. Out of the back of a truck. “We have all kinds: steaks, chickens, pork, you name it!”
This being an overwhelming proposition, I did the only thing that came to mind and told him I was a vegetarian.
“Oh, I’m sorry!” he gasped, genuinely horrified. Not that he had bothered me but that he might have offended me. I hadn’t realized that being a vegetarian was such a rarefied existence. We had beef stew for dinner tonight, and then Rob made my favorite dessert, chocolate-chip cookie dough without the chocolate chips. I am getting so fat.
posted by
David at 1:06 AM
I was at my local Applebees recently (I know - Applebees = YUCK)and this really nice looking guy was staring at me. I am so used to folks being overwhelmed by my beauty that I played it very cool as I am often want to do. Finally he approached me.
"You don't recognize me - do you?"
"Um, no, I'm sorry, I don't" I replied
"I'm that guy who you thinks looks just like that other guy in Baltimore who is some famous Internet Blogger." he reminded me with a tinge of sadness in his tone.
"Oh, I really am sorry" I offered. "You've gotten so fat I didn't recognize you"
posted by: Jeffrey on 10.29.2008 at 12:46 AM
Good answer. I don't know that meat that "fell off the back of the truck" would be a smart buy, even if the ethics of it weren't a concern.
posted by: Jess on 10.30.2008 at 8:13 PM
What??? No chocolate chips??? :)
posted by:
Pua on 11.03.2008 at 12:42 PM
I disbelieve you, sir! I am a vegetarian and no one has ever apologized for offering me FODA*!
Why no chips in the dough?
* Flesh Of Dead Animal
posted by:
goblinbox on 11.05.2008 at 10:20 PM
Jeffrey: I'm sure there's an insult in there somewhere, but I am secretly gloating because you spelled "wont" wrong.
Jess: This somehow did not seem to occur to the door-to-door meat vendor.
Pua: I don't like the texture when they're uncooked, but I do like uncooked dough better than the stuff dough turns into when it's cooked.
Goblinbox: As for the chips, see above. As for the FODA, perhaps you simply don't have my charms.
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